its just me again....

We've been busy over in our neck of the woods. My oldest has joined cubscouts so we've been going to meetings aka "pack meetings" and soon he'll start "den meetings" so thats twice a month. He's pretty excited to join this, although I'm pretty sure he's unaware of what it all involves.

 

 

 

The above picture, my youngest took. "Dis..is Chalk..Purpra Chalk momma". He loves getting ahold of my camera. I thought the picture turned out rather nice myself.

 Proof that fall is RIGHT around the corner. Taken yesterday when sitting outside with the youngest while the two others were in school. I love the changing of the leaves!

The Cast of the middle child finally came off last week. She was so relieved that it came off. She complained about it ALL THE TIME. Then when it came off, she complained she missed it. But now she can really do better in school with writing and such since it was on her right hand.

This is my supper helper the other night while I made Chili . He thought he was very scary, while on the other hand, I thought he was very adorable. We've been spending lots of one on one time together since Bella is in all day kindergarten now. He's usually always very eager to help with the cooking.

They say it takes a village to raise a child

The old quote says "it takes a village to raise a child" right?

What happens to the quote when you have more than one child? Are you supposed to divide up your children into different villages? Are you only supposed to have one child depending on how many people are in your village?

I have three kids. However, we all know it starts at just one. I did the single mom thing for a while, and during this period I worked two jobs. Had it not been for my small "village" of people around me, nothing would have been possible. My mom and dad watched my son for me while I worked second shift until bedtime, then my grandmother watched him at my place, bathed him and rocked him and played with him and put him to bed. They supported me emotionally as well.
When I got married and had two more kids, I had my husbands help, my parents help, the inlaws help and other friends around us. Our "village" slowly expanded.
When my first child went to school, again the people I considered passage into our "village" expanded again....his teachers, the teachers aides, the people who worked at the school, from top to bottom....all became part of our village.
When my second one now started in school, again our village once again expanded to HER teachers and people who work at the school from top to bottom.

You can't have a village without considering everyone having a special part, no matter how big or small. You have to remember people like bus drivers and school secretaries because each of these people play a part in your childs life.

There had been a discussion lately in the papers about "what now I have to thank even people like bus drivers and janitors for my education?" and I answered "yes, yes you do". Why you ask? Without that bus driver, would you have gotten to school safely and on time every day? without that janitor, would you have a clean environment to better your learning? Without people like teachers, no matter what the subject, would your education have gotten along without them? How about the people who make school lunches? Without them, some kids wouldn't have anything to eat, and the studies show kids who eat better, do better in school. So yes you even have to thank the lunch ladies.
Who else is a part of my village that I'm thankful for? Doctors, without them, I'd be without guidance when my children are sick(or injuried as they seem to be pretty clutzy), Dentist, without them, everyone in my family would have bad teeth, the people who work at retail places that I interact with, like the bank, the grocery store, the gas station, the pharmacy, etc. Without these people, business would cease to run and we'd have to find other means to find groceries and people to keep our money in a safe spot and we'd probably have to go back to growing mold to procure penicillian , grow our own food, shoot our own animals for supper. I"m not sure about you, but I'm pretty domestically challanged the way it is, even though my mother surely tried to teach me these skills, but I don't want to hunt my own food.  And I"m thankful for police officers and fire fighters and ambulance workers, because they keep us in check by making sure we're doing whats right by the law, come to our houses to put out fires at all hours of the day or night and sometimes even miss family things at a moments notice and ambulance people help us also in emergencies, big and small, again at all hours of day and night. I'm thankful for the people like pastors and other men of faith who guide each and every one of us in our own spirtual journey, no matter what it is you believe.
See where I"m going with this? You have to sit back and consider how each person affects you in your daily life and in your childrens daily lives. And believe it or not, alot of people don't often enough get something as small and simple as a "thank you" and "great job".
what people are you thankful for? who are the people in your village that perhaps you haven't thought of in a while?

second week of school

The second week of school has officially started. School seems to be going well for both of my older children. Bella is in all day kindergarten and while I worried about her being in school all day, once again she's amazed me at being actually very non-challant about it. I worried she'd be lonesome or miss mom and dad or grandma...however she seems to be handling it ok. She gets up every morning excited to go. I also worried about her eating lunch at school and carrying the tray with her arm still in a cast but that doesn't seem to be an issue either. Except if you ask her what she had for lunch, she always tells me "I dunno!". lol

4th grade is quiet so far for my oldest. He's not so much a morning person so we struggle there. We struggle getting up in the morning, struggle getting in the shower, getting dressed, getting breakfast in him...but he seems to be liking it so far. Hes smart as smart can be so he does well academically.

Our youngest is 3. And not in school. And is quite lonesome during the day without his brother and sister. He does spend mornings a few times a week at grandmas house to pass the time and play with other kids, which helps. Last week during the first few days, he helped me drop off Jace at school and walk Bella into her classroom, and he seemed to like that. We talked about how he'll be a big boy when its time for HIM to finally go. Then this momma will be lonesome and sad.

We've been busy with visiting the dentist, joining cubscouts, doing homework and the like. Luckily for us, the days have been warm and the nights cool where you can open windows.

Summer will be leaving us soon...I love fall.

school is officially here!

this is what happens.....

 

 

 

This is what happens when someone else gets a hold of your camera.

Life can settle down a bit now

As summer draws to a close, I'd like to tell life to slow down a little bit. We've had a rather ..odd summer.
Jax had his stitches at the water park
Then there was the whole benedryl incident
Then we had ear infections (both boys and myself)
The odd summer colds(the boys)
Then Bella broke her wrist
The funeral...
Everything seemed to happen too quickly. I know there were more things in there. And I remember thinking "can we please go ONE WEEK without a visit to the doctors or urgent care?"
and then we didn't. I joked with the urgent care staff about frequent flyer miles or perhaps having a punch card, after so many visits, its free...

hmmm..
It was an unusually hot and dry summer. We had temperatures over 100 and heat advisories. I remember when we were on our mini vaca at the water park, the ground was SO HOT, that you had to wear shoes in between things. Wisconsin was part of the drought. We went many days without rain and our grass around here was dry and brown. I was relieved to see rain and that brought(after some time) our grass green again.

We did alot of swimming, playing outside, smores, fireworks(before the no burning ban), had many park days, saw alot of grandma and grandpa, on both sides, did alot of crafts, played some video games(as my boys are mario crazy) and just did lazy summer things.

As our summer draws to a close, I never thought I'd be burying my yaya. Grandma yaya got her name from my oldest. I did some single parenting stuff for a while. I worked two jobs. My parents would watch my oldest while I was at work. I worked second shift, so they brought him back to my place, and my grandma would take over, bathe him and play with him and put him to bed. He was 1 at the time, and they adored eachother. She may have been in her 80's but let me tell you, she was quick and agile and they definately were attatched to eachother. She sang to him in german and I swore up and down he spoke german the first two years because none of us could understand him. I'd come home from my second shift job and my place would be spotless, laundry done and grandma yaya and I would watch golden girls and chit chat like a bunch of teens. She never really slept much, so she'd spend the night frequently as I worked on call for the ambulance, she'd be up by like 3 am , watching tv, doing more laundry and I'd get up often and chit chat with her. Even when I wasn't working for the ambulance, she'd come up, and spend the night. We'd cook together, make new things, go for walks, and just talk. We'd go for drives, and she loved spending time with my oldest. When the weather was stormy or even predicting storms, Yaya and I were both so scared of them. She'd come over and we'd watch the weather channel and get a bag for Jace ready to go incase the tornado sirens went off, then we'd drive down the block to my mom's house. If she wasn't at my house when the sirens went off, I"d pack Jace up, drive down to her apt, and pick her up. I"ll NEVER forget the time I picked her up, sirens a-blarin, and its her and two old lady friends of hers trying to get into my car, and they're older so they're slower and I"m like "Grandma! if this were life or death, we'd all die" and we were cracking up. What was even funnier? When we arrived at my parents house with 3 little old ladies, Jace and I. The look on my mom's face...LOL.

My grandmother was also a lady who never put herself first. I remember growing up, she took care of my grandfather. He died about 20 years ago, but he was diabetic, had a few heart attacks and she took care of him until the day he died. Then her sister, the oldest of 6 kids, came to live with her. My grandmother and her sister Ella, spoke german when they were together and didn't want us kids to catch on what they were saying. They'd speak it in the car, in the house, wherever, as long as something needed to be said that us kids shouldn't hear. Her sister fell and broke her hip and went into a nursing home, because my grandmother ended up sick herself and had some work done on her heart. Even with her sister in the nursing home, she still was there daily, if not more than once a day. She washed her clothes, took her things, answered her billion of phone calls. And on top of that, She would visit the cemetary daily as well. She also drove us kids around, or came to the rescue if we forgot something or needed something or were sick. She just always put others first. That was how she was.

When I had Jace, my oldest, it was like immediate that those two were joined, almost at the heart. For 80 years young, she sure took great care of him. She raised 4 kids of her own had plenty of us grandchildren and loved keeping busy. I remember, every time she came over, she brought something for Jace. Whether it be things like coco krispies(her favorite) or Swiss Miss pudding(also her favorite) , she never came empty handed. I grew up very close to my grandmother, as did alot of us grandkids. We lived for the days to sleep over at grandmas, she let us put her hair in rollers and do her make up and let us play dress up with her clothes. We watched shows like "the Stattler brothers" and "lawerence Welk" and I remember she'd watch "beavis and butthead" with us. The next morning, she'd make a big breakfast and we'd hang out there much of the day. If we could get away with more time there, we would.

Yaya was completely independent until about 2 years ago. She lived on her own, drove her own car, and still did her daily phone calls to everyone to see what we were up to, where we were going, how work was, what the kids were doing. She had this habit of calling everyone every day. If she couldn't find one of us, like my mom, she'd call me and say "where's your mom, I can't find her" and if I didnt find my mother, she'd get in her car to drive around. Even if my mom had just missed the phone call. We developed a system that if one of us were going somewhere, we'd "check in"..I'd call her and say "grandma, I'm going ___________" and tell her that I would call her apon getting back home. And she'd do the same thing "now don't worry, I"m going with the girls to the foot doctor, then lunch, but I"ll call when I get home".. ok. As a whole family we did this. There were a few times we'd forget of course, her included and we'd basically be banging down her door, afraid we'd find her laying dead somewhere in her apartment. Even when she didn't drive so much anymore, she'd call me several times a day. We lived close, so I'd take the kids over. We'd still go places.

When her memory started to go, she'd call and it would be quite funny and cute because I guess only I ask a nurse, spending many years in the nursing home, can appreciate the humor inside the dementia like this. My one director called it "therapeutic fibbing"..or you'd play along, instead of doing the obvious redirecting them and most times embarrasing who you're working with. She call and say "who is this? why did you call me" and I"d say "oh its me yaya, I called because I wanted to know if you made cupcakes today" even though she'd call me. Or she'd call when I was at work and talk with my husband, and I had to teach him to kinda go with it, and play along. He learned to chat with her and put her at ease incase she thought she couldn't find one of us, and if it ever got bad, he'd call me at work and tell me "yaya needs your help" and I'd stop what I was doing at work, and give her a call. She continued to loose her memory, not always remembering our names, but our faces were remembered. She made up nicknames for many of us. She had to stop living on her own because it was becoming a saftey risk. During storms, instead of calling me, she'd pace the hallways and try to find someone to comfort her, and she'd leave the stove on and things like that. So she moved out with my aunt for a while. Even during those days, she'd call. And she'd whisper funny things into the telephone, how she was being held hostage or something just as cute, or tell me "I have lots of money" and want us to come pick her and her money up. About a year ago, she broke her hip one morning at my aunts house and from there, went into a nursing home. By then her dementia had really advanced. She was upset knowing the nursing home wasn't "home" but she couldn't really figure out where she was. We'd remind her, visit her constantly, it was like the tables were turned. We'd visit her like she used to visit us. We'd walk around the nursing home (or she was pushed in her wheel chair, in her case) . The girls at the nursing home took great care of her, kinda taking her under their wing and watching closely over them, as I knew alot of girls there. During her decline in her dementia, she went from this quiet little lady who never got mad, to this rowdy 80 lb woman who you'd better not dare mess with. She kept the girls on their toes, , she was quick in that wheel chair, she was always eating other peoples snacks, like the workers snacks, and they'd let her ..lol. They polished her nails, and let her "fold laundry" and entertained her,when like usual, she'd be up half the night. I'd bring them candy treats that were kept in her room as a special thank you for working so hard and for loving her the way I did. There were some girls who took a special liking to her and I'd get reports on her ,and I always was very comforted knowing she was in great hands. Even if she was really rowdy and someone would call me, I'd go down and see her bellering at some of the staff and trying to get out of her wheel chair and we would all just crack up because she was a whole 80 lbs and she truly believed she was in charge. We'd often get her settled back in and I'd tuck her into bed after putting her PJ's on...and I knew her sleep wouldn't last long because thats how she was wired. When she really started to slip at the end, they gave her a baby to hold onto, and some clothes to change her and undress her and redress her. I've found this very common in women with dementia who took care of their children. Holding a fake baby causes some huge relief in them. Of course, we all thought SHE believed it was real...until she told her daughter one day "you know that thing isn't real right?" lol. She didnt want to hurt my other aunts feelings who was holding it for her, nor did she want to hurt anyone else's feelings .

She passed rather quickly. Last Tuesday I recieved a call from my mom saying that my aunt had called HER and let her know the nursing home called and she had taken a turn for the worse. I rushed to be with her, and spent much of the day there. We were all there throughout the day, crying, joking, laughing, remembering things about her. She spent so much time taking care of us and others, that she was still very restless in her bed . Her legs kept going and going. At one point we believed she was going to hop right out of that bed. She was put on hospice and further went downhill as the day went on. I left here and there to tend to my family. I was home the last time for not even an hour, and she passed.

I miss her. I miss her more than words can even express. I feel like I spent such a great deal of time with her when it was Jace and I. She was the kind of person who didn't see flaws in people, she just loved you for who you were. She never said a harsh word about anyone. Even if I had a bad day, I'd come home to her at the end of it and she'd fix a snack and we'd turn on the golden girls and Yaya would fall asleep and I'd scold her and she'd always say "I"m just resting my eyes, I can still hear it"... or if the place was a mess she'd say "this isn't messy, my mother always said toys were not a mess"... or she'd always say something nice, about what you were wearing or your hair or something..just that little extra pick me up. When I went through a hard time in my life and did that whole single parenting thing for a while, she'd let me be mad about it, let me vent about it, and then we'd gab like a bunch of women on a "why men suck" type rant...lol. She never let you stay sad for long. She didn't like to see anyone upset or cry, and she had such an outstanding sense of devotion to her family. And my friends would stop over, and as my friends always did, accepted Yaya as part of me. It didn't matter what time it was , or what day it was , or who was home. They'd come in, they didn't have to knock or ring the door bell. My door was always open. ...yaya there or not. If she wasn't there, they'd question where Yaya was. She was just a part of our every day life. She accepted my friends as part of her own group. She cared about them , asked after them, and joined us in our conversations, no matter what they were. So many people referred to her as "grandma yaya" I don't think she truly understood the people she reached. I believe her love for life showed and her love for everyone showed and thats why people just reached out right back to her. She'd ask me "well who wants to hang out with an 80 year old lady"..and we'd all say "oh grandma, we do of course!" becasue it was true.

I think part of me grieved when she went into the nursing home and her dementia took her. I grieved for that part of her that was almost..missing. I know and understand dementia and alzheimers. when I was 17 I became a certified nursing assistant and then went onto be a nurse. So I understand the progression. But I lost that person a long time ago. I never ever loved her less. I never treated her differently. When I visited, I talked to her like I usually would. I rambled on and on about things she used to ask about. She didn't remember my name, but I knew in her eyes, my face was familar. When others would visit, sometimes they didn't know what to say, or what to talk about. Even the day she was dying, as she laid there, no one spoke alot TO her..I did. I didn't care if I looked or sounded foolish. I accepted all this as normal and wanted to carry on as it should be. I believe hearing is the last thing to go, that at least if she could hear we were there, it was some comfort knowing the people who loved her the most were surrounding her when she needed us.

She will always hold a special place in my heart. I think she was one of the best people I ever knew. If I could have one day with her, I'd go back to when Jace was small, and we'd sit out in our lawn chairs , with my neighbor and just chat..catch up.... laugh... but I know shes in a better place. And she'd want us to carry on, to pick up and move about life like she did. But theres a pretty big void here lady, I just wanted you to know that. And every time I hear about the Golden Girls, I think of you. And every time the Andy Griffith tune comes on, I think of you and how Jace used to sing that before he could even talk...lol..and every time the phone rings, I always still wonder if its you calling, but its not.

My yaya

My yaya became an angel the other day. She was a spectacular woman who always put the needs of others before herself. She loved her family with greatness and loved us even though like humans, we'd screw up from time to time. She never saw our faults as bad things, she just simple would hug you and not mention it again.She would stop everything she was doing if you needed her.
She took care of my grandfather who had diabetes and was ill for a long part of his life. She made sure he always came first. She took care of him until the day he died almost 20 years ago.
Then she took her sister in and took care of her until she had fallen and broken her hip.

She lived a long and wonderful life. She was very independent until like 2 years ago when she went to live with my aunt . She herself fell one morning and broke her hip and was sent to a nursing home. She also was in the stages of dementia and needed more care. The people who took care of her were just as caring and wonderful and it put us all in extreme comfort knowing she was being well taken care of.

I will miss her because she was my yaya. I will miss the phone calls from her and the daily visits she used to give. She helped me through tough times in life and none of that can ever be replaced with any monetary worth.


I love you yaya.