Monday, May 16, 2011

Bat....girl and robin.?

So friday night: My husband is watching tv, I"m reading my kindle in my pjs, kids are asleep. Sounds great right? nice and quiet , little people snoring.
My cell gets a text from my close friend Jesse.

Jesse: I'm picking you up in an hour
me: no way. I have no money

Jesse: I don't care, I"m picking you up in an hour.
me: nope. I"m in my pjs, reading my kindle, nope
Jesse: get dressed get ready, I"ll be there at 1030pm.

and this back and forth went on for a good twenty minutes, Until I finally caved in and agreed. She partly got me to cave in cause she was gonna take ME out for a drink and gonna buy. So why not? its very seldom we get just us girl time. So I get ready and sit down to read my kindle before she shows up. As a fact, Jesse's never anywhere early. She's usually either just on time or fashionably late. I"ve known her for over 15 years and this is just the way she is. I"m one of those OMG I GOTTA BE THE FIRST ONE THERE type girl. But it works cause it wasn't anywhere important tonight...... then..I get this text:

me: huh? a bat? in your house?a flying one?(duh right?)
Jesse: Yes OMG its in my house.
me: well what is it doing?
Jesse: laying there. I went upstairs to change my shoes before we went out and I thought for whatever reason it was dog poop and I was mad the dog pooped in the house. So I went to the landing upstairs and got closer and IT WAS A BAT OMG.
Jesse: I'm coming to get you so you can help me! Be ready!
me: oh screw that(I believe I used other not so nice verbs there besides screw)

So I recount the story to my husband who is sitting on the other couch. He acts like this is no biggie, go out there and take care of it. I"m like... this is no good. Jesse's a screamer over ANYTHING...seriously, never go to the movies with that girl. She'll scream and scare the crap outta you. She's just a screamer, and she spooks easily. She's always been the butt of a few jokes in our high school group . We love her but shes fun. So I go to wait outside thinking "what are we going to do with a bat?" and "we're just gonna stand and scream together and not get anything done". I"m not a screamer but bats give me the heebee jeebees. So she picks me up and we go back out to her house in the country. She shows me in a round about way where the bat is. Cause I'm not getting near that thing. We creep up the steps, her with a bucket(she planned on just throwing it over the bat) and she gives me a broom and tells me "if it starts flying, try to hit it away" no? Not happening? so we get half way up the stairs and she screams, I scream in reaction to HER screaming and we take off down the stairs, slamming the door that leads upstairs. I look at her and asked if the bat moved or something. She said no. I"m like THEN WHY DID YOU SCREAM? I was ready to hit HER with the broom!
So we sat and cooled down, calmed down and went through our phone lists to see if we had any manly men on our I texted my mom and dad who didn't answer. I texted my brother in law who I knew wouldn't answer(hey at least I tried)and finally a gal friend of mine who said "hit it with a tennis racket" and we didnt have any. She also said she'd come out or send her husband if we needed to.
So Jesse finally finds our friends to come out as they were in town at the local bar. They come out and the whole broom/bucket/screaming thing ensues again until they get upstairs, while me and the other girl stand guard at the door, proclaiming "that thing starts flying, we're slamming the door, just sayin"..(we're such good friends, its every man for themselves with a bat flying!)
so they get the bat covered after a few more screams. I think either that bat had a stroke after the first scream from her, or was sick before it came into her house. It just layed there, though she SWORE it moved. We...ok THEY put the bucket over it, weighed the bucket down so our non-flying friend could not fly away and ruin their progress as bat catchers.

Much rejoicing was done. We then went for celebratory drinks afterwards laughing about the whole thing.

and nope I didnt get a picture. I wasn't getting THAT close.

1 comment:

  1. Too funny! I don't even like bats if they're outside - even after my husband points out that bats are out there eating the mosquitos - yeah... I don't care.